On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Following the very elaborate story and settings of YOLT, OHMSS is a far more down-to-earth story. This is perhaps quite surprising given that in 1969 mankind is landing on the moon, yet it was the previous film which was concerned with the space-race. Bond is on the trail of Blofeld once again, whose plan for extortion this time involves drugged/brainwashed women who will be commanded to release a deadly virus from a perfume bottle at various global destinations, unless the US meet his demands.

Casting George Lazenby as 007 must have felt like a bit of a gamble at the time (perhaps because he looks like the King!). It was his first feature film; he was an Australian playing a British agent; and perhaps crucially, he was the first “different” James Bond. This last point obviously gave the powers-that-be the heebie-jeebies! We see select scenes from the previous films projected over the film titles, a mish-mash of John Barry’s themes while 007 looks at some of his gadgets from previous missions, and of course “This never happened to the other guy!”.

They needn’t have worried, Lazenby fills the role with aplomb; he not only slips into the role with ease, he manages (along with a succinct plot) to recreate what was so great about Sean’s 007 in the very first two movies. He relies far more on his own ability for fast-thinking; for making optimal use of his surroundings; and of course for shagging around. We can only guess at how the series would have progressed if Lazenby had signed on for more films; would he have held on to his “infinite resource and sagacity” (as my old headmaster used to say); or would he have fallen victim to the increasing gadgetisation which seems to be the trend when one actor stays around too long? One thing is for sure, few 00 agents would have been brave enough to pull this off:

Nor was this the only gem in his wardrobe; he also possesses some quite tight shirts! With these tight shirts he is only two hairy man-nipples away from a Roger Moore film!

Diana Rigg is good as Tracy, the only woman to make an honest man out of James Bond; well for about 5 minutes anyway; and when he’s not shagging his way around Blofeld’s institute for allergy sufferers. In fact his charisma is such that Bond can seduce two women with exactly the same line! At least at no point do you feel that he is forcing himself on any of the women as Sean sometimes seemed to do. Far from being just another Bond Girl, Tracy is very much her own woman; of course, driving fast cars, gambling, and threatening to kill random secret agents are just the kind of things 007 finds attractive in women! It is not a stand-out performance from Rigg, but she does bring believability to her character. Tracy isn't any old shell-collecting - climb a mountain in my bikini - swoon all over Bond kinda gal, she is a definite character in her own right; and with that in mind Rigg is great.

Where Donald Pleasance created an icon, it is Telly Savalas that really gets to take Blofeld out of the (volcano?) garage and really open him up. His understated menace is a great foil for Bond’s self-assurance. When Bond thinks that he is in control and Blofeld doesn’t suspect him, Telly reminds him who’s boss and that he hasn’t gone soft despite being surrounded with beautiful women all the time. His cool is diminished slightly during the skiing scenes, which to my mind were a little reminiscent of the sped-up boat chase at the end of Thunderball; but Telly would be a hard act to follow (especially having killed Mrs Bond!) How would Charles Gray cope?

From seemingly being worried at casting a new James Bond, the movie turned out to be a very memorable adventure, and perhaps one of the better Bond films that stands the test of time. The stunning Alpine location helps the film feel more exotic yet realistic (compared to the fantastic yet brilliant sets in YOLT). It seems to me that as soon as the gadgets are cut out and 007 gets back to basics, the better the films are. My only disappointment is that there wasn’t so much furniture fighting in OHMSS!

                                    Secret Alpine base discovered by 007 and Les Dennis!

Order of Preference so far:

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Thunderball

You Only Live Twice

The evil plans of his subordinates have been so routinely foiled by 007 (Dr No, FRWL and Thunderball), that Ernst Stavro Blofeld (SPECTRE’s #1) has obviously decided that if you want a master-plan done properly, then do it yourself...! SPECTRE have been capturing space capsules launched by both USA and Russia; of course each nation blames the other for the missing probes and it looks like a full-scale war is imminent. Her Majesty’s government (ever the voice of reason!!!), don’t think either nation is to blame as their Intel indicates that the mysterious Pacman-style-shuttle-gobbling-rocket is being launched from somewhere in Japan. So, following an elaborate plan to convince the world’s baddies that he’s dead(..!), James Bond is sent to Japan to track down the source of the rocket.

The pre-credit action starts with the capture of an American space capsule by SPECTRE, before going to Hong Kong where we see 007 killed “on the job”! I like this, as both scenes tie in with the movie as a whole; instead of some fake-widow-beating and escape by tin-foil-jet-pack. The title tune, sung by Nancy Sinatra, is perhaps as well known as Goldfinger, and is also quite unusual (I think) in terms of Bond tunes, as the theme is recurrent throughout the entire film. In fact the whole film has a terrific score by John Barry.

This has always struck me as quite an iconic Bond film; probably a combination of great title tune, Donald Pleasence being the archetypal Blofeld (helped by Austin Powers no doubt), and a secret volcano base (the only kind of secret base worth having)! The fact that it is all set in the Far East gives the film a more exotic feel; though this brings with it some of the film’s more bizarre elements. Despite Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) being a leading Japanese actress, her English accent sounded like Mrs Peignoir’s French accent from Fawlty Towers; the assassin/driver who Bond fights in Osato’s office looks more Polynesian than Japanese. At this point I was very happy to see 007’s penchant for fighting with furniture was taken to a whole new level as he fights not just using a chair, but an entire sofa (see also FRWL and Thunderball for other furniture fights!)!!

                                                        You're holding the wrong end!

Another random moment is making Bond Japanese!? I can see the point of him training to become a Jedi Ninja (in a camp as crazy as the SPECTRE training camp in FRWL; instead of flame-throwers there is ice-block-head-breaking!), but is it really necessary to have fake eyebrows/lids and a crap wig? Especially as he ditches them as soon as he puts on his Phantom disguise!

                        

Otherwise, Sean is as good as ever, though he does seem to get a bit more sweaty than in the other films. Any thoughts that perhaps he is getting bored with the franchise seem to be dispelled during the fight with Hans (Blofeld’s bodyguard) towards the end of the film. This is quite a full-on fight that is far more dynamic than some of the more slapstick offerings that we’ve seen in the previous two films. Donald Pleasence manages to create a truly iconic villain, even though he doesn’t have much time on screen. Of course as a genius, he even has an “Erupt Volcano” lever installed in his base! I think Charles Gray is great as Dikko Henderson (yup, “Dikko”!?!), it is a shame that he is only alive for about 5 minutes... Obviously his talent didn’t go unnoticed which is why (according to my James Bond encyclopaedia) “It is rumoured that a few years after Henderson’s death, Blofeld used him as a model for his surgically-created looks”! What a wonderfully unlikely way to get Charles Gray back into the franchise! Mie Hama is pretty enough as Kissy Suzuki, but she doesn’t do much other than run up and down the volcano a few times in a bikini.

                                                                Perfect hiking gear

Overall, I think You Only Live Twice is tremendous fun (though clearly not as thrilling as doing the voice-over for the trailer). Helped along by Roald Dahl’s screenplay, direction by Lewis Gilbert which really gives the film a freshness, and a brilliant production design by Ken Adam. There are almost as many memorable moments from this as there are from Goldfinger, but I think the plot is more intriguing and the extra dimension of Bond being involved in the space-race ups the ante in terms of the Bond franchise. As a final thought; we should take a moment to remember the Russian astronauts who put on the white henchmen overalls (at Bond’s behest) who were most likely shot in the climactic battle!

Order of preference so far:

You Only Live Twice, Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Thunderball

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Thunderball

After the giddy heights of Goldfinger, Thunderball is a bit of a damp squib. It starts out well enough with a pre-credit scene where James punches a woman in the face! But, Oh, James thinks that dude looks like a lady (or something), and so a good scrap ensues, involving the classic Bond move of pinning his assailant to a wall with a chair! Having won the fight, 007 then escapes using a jetpack covered in tin foil and proudly showing a lovely helmet!

The great song is then belted out by Tom Jones (though he did manage to sound quite effeminate at times), before we are transported to SPECTRE’s hideout to find out (#2) Emilio Largo’s cunning plan.

                                                You just wouldn’t sit down would you?

The plan is to hijack a plane carrying two nukes, and use them to extort £100,000,000 out of NATO (but essentially the British Government). Largo (Adolfo Celi) is a really nasty piece of work: inviting Bond aboard his yacht; inviting him to dinner; all this time of course James is trying to locate the nukes. Helping him in this is Domino (Claudine Auger) Largo’s bit of stuff, so naturally Bond seduces her. When Largo is moving the nukes from their safe storage to the handover point in exchange for his ransom, 007 is there, (of course!), along with a lot of aqua-soldiers to have some sort of underwater knees-bent running about fight! Largo escapes, Bond follows for a dramatic finale aboard his yacht (the Disco Volante) where Domino shoots him in the back with a harpoon!

If FRWL was all about the Orient Express, then Thunderball is all about the ocean; and it looks great. Factoid: Lamar Boren who was the underwater cameraman, was DOP on the 1964 Flipper TV series! The only downside of this is that it is harder to act underwater (presumably). The underwater fight at the end is essentially 10 minutes of silent movie, with the occasional thwunk of a harpoon, and some over-acted deaths that would give a lot of Zulus a run for their money! I think that perhaps it is this focus on underwater action that gives the film a slightly surreal feeling and so the pace of the film suffers.

Sean is of course as suave, unflustered, and great as ever; “Yes, I thought I saw a spectre at your shoulder. - What do you mean? - The spectre of defeat.” Claudine Auger’s Domino is perhaps the finest Bond Girl yet (can of worms?) Honey Ryder didn’t do much; Tatiana was pretty, but pretty pathetic; and Pussy had a great name but not much more. Domino is sexy, vengeful, puts up with a bit of torture and then shoots Largo with a harpoon! Adolfo Celi is good as Largo, but he must have turned up on set on the first day and thought they were having a laugh when they told him to wear an eye-patch!

There are a few more gadgets in this outing: Jetpack, hoses and bullet-proof shield on Aston Martin, Geiger counter watch, re-breather, jam trousers (no wait that was an Eddie Izzard sketch). Of course they were all needed for the mission.

                 

Thunderball has a lot going for it; I think its main problem other than the underwater-ness slowing it down a bit, is that it is coming hard on the heels of Goldfinger which was a great film. Probably whatever fourth film was made, it would never have lived up to Goldfinger.

Order of preference so far:
Goldfinger, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Thunderball

Goldfinger

Goldfinger (Mwa Wa Waaaa!) is the film that shows that Bond has really arrived, as a character and as a franchise. As a franchise, we now have Shirley Bassey belting out the title song (written by John Barry this time), a flash car with accessories, and an evil henchman with some sort of random (odd?) skill; thus really setting the template for so many subsequent Bond movies.

As a character, 007 is a bit more ballsey now (he has the guts to wear a blue towel onesy!), and we start to get the impression that his reputation is starting to go before him; as Felix says: "He'll either be after a dame or a drink" (something like that). I got the impression that now he has shrugged of the spectre of SPECTRE, he's rather enjoying himself a bit more, despite being drugged and imprisoned rather a lot.

Of course by the third film James needs little introduction now, but his entrance in this film is almost as classic as the first "Bond, James Bond" in Dr. No. Stepping out of his frogman getup (and seagull) to reveal a white tux is as iconic a scene as Goldfinger's Laser "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!". Unfortunately, following this great entrance, we are then treated to some nonsense as Bond sees a perfect reflection of an assailant in the eyes of his latest conquest (only to then use her as a shield! Chivalry not dead in 1964!), followed by a fight that can only be described as a slapstick parody of his struggle with Red Grant on the Orient Express in FRWL; Shocking!

Auric Goldfinger himself (Gert Fröbe) is a bit of a strange one. He is obviously a force to be reckoned with, (as demonstrated by his dynamic pencil-breaking upon losing a hand of poker); he can harness the power of gold to make a laser; and he has a classic villainous meeting room complete with rotating pool table/computer console, a scale model of his master plan, and secure shielding over the windows! However, he does also seem to employ the world's worst guards. James escapes from his cell having winked at his jailer and then slowly dropping out of view! He might as well have dressed as a washerwoman and hidden in a large wicker basket! Auric does also have the ability to look like he has had a bit too much air pumped into him, while impersonating a startled rabbit!

So far this all sounds rather negative. I really don't want to come across like that because Goldfinger is great. Great plot, great masterplan, great action (particularly the car chase sequences), several iconic scenes, not so great if your character is a Masterson! Also one of the best Bond Girl names there is: Pussy Galore. Honor Blackman is good as head of a flying school, but her character doesn't really give her much to play with, though she is able to make the audience a little uncomfortable as Bond forces himself onto her!

I think a lot of what makes Goldfinger so enjoyable are the foibles and idiosyncrasies; for example, Oddjob's theme seems to be someone banging on a triangle: Ting! Ting! Ting! Also, it could be that we have a definite villain with a definite plan. Dr No was clearly the main baddie, but we were never really sure what he was up to: something to do with knocking shuttles off course. In FRWL there is the menace of SPECTRE, but nothing very tangible as a threat to Bond (except bad fish/wine combinations). The fact that we have Goldfinger with an evil masterplan (irradiation of Fort Knox gold bullion to inflate the value of his own gold) makes the plot more obvious perhaps, but in a way that gives the feeling of a more complete package.

So, there we have Goldfinger in a nutshell; the quintessential 007 movie format, oft repeated in the franchise, but perhaps never done as well or with as much style.

Order of preference so far:
Goldfinger, From Russia With Love, Dr No.

From Russia with Love

Dancing woman shaking tassels during credits? Check

Blofeld stroking white fluffy cat? Check.

Wrestling gypsy women? Check.

Periscope built into the structure of the Russian Consulate? Erm, Check!

What more could we want?

From Russia with Love, as the name may suggest, finds Bond very much cooking in a Cold-War, espionage stew. SPECTRE (more specifically Number 5: Kronsteen) devises a plan to get the British Secret Service to acquire a Lektor Decoder from the Russians, which they will then appropriate and sell back to the Russians. A plan is whisked up involving Russian cipher clerk Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) who convinces the British that she wants to defect along with the Lektor Decoder. She is recruited by Rosa Kleb a SMERSH operative (unbeknownst to Tatiana, she is actually SPECTRE Number 2). Tatiana must butter up Bond, so that when assassin Donald Grant (also recruited by Kleb) kills Bond, she can return the Decoder to Kleb. Simples.

From Russia with Love learns from Dr No and builds on it. Sean is as dapper as ever, and growing into his role as Britain's most eligible secret agent, armed this time with his trusty attaché case. Though throughout the movie I feel Bond is more led along the mission rather than the make-it-up-as-you-go-along plan of the first film. This is not important though as the intrigue of the plot is kept up as it twists and turns like a twisty turney thing (Blackadder).

                                 Shexy Shean! Seacking Wallpaper!

Right from the top we are wondering what's going on. Not only is there action before the opening titles (which goes on to be synonymous with 007 films) but it looks like James has come a cropper already! Of course this is just all training for the soon-to-be-hired-by-Rosa Kleb assassin, at which point we are treated to the titles accompanied by a woman shaking her tassels all over the place!

The first scene following the credits could instantly be as anti-climactic as Subway bread as we knead our way into plot exposition territory. Fortunately, the mystique of Dr No's voice was remembered, but now we have the quintessential villain pulling the shots: the feline-fondling Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Though (if I'm remembering correctly) we aren't given a name, he's just known as Number 1. As Kleb and Kronsteen are lightly roasted, we realise that though they may have great criminal minds, it is crazy cat man who is really pulling the strings.

The meat and potatoes of the film simmer between wonderful scenes such as the fight on the Orient Express where James and Donald Grant throw each other around a cramped booth, or the banter developing between M, Moneypenny and 007; and the slightly superfluous (though entertaining) visit to the gypsy camp, or the boat chase towards the end of the film. The boat chase gives an exciting climax to the escape, but I wan't sure who was chasing Bond (I was tired on Sunday night, but now I find it was Morzeny (Numberless SPECTRE agent?) who was trying to correct Grant's failure (Hoorah for the DK James Bond Encyclopedia - Oh Yes!)).

Nice idea to have poisoned spiky shoes, but I couldn't help but think of Austin Powers: "Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!"

As a complete film I think I preferred Dr No, but I loved the Cold War feel of this, and the long journey on the Orient Express I thought was a great section, full of continental chic! I don't think 007 is the complete 3 course meal until the next film, but From Russia with Love gets him pretty damn close!